yo ho!

Before you ask, yes I have heard about the captain of the ship who was recently captured by pirates. (And subsequently rescued.) I don't live in a cave, after all. (Or on a pirate ship, but even then, I think I'd have some kind of access to the news.) Lady MacBeth told me that perhaps I should rethink my love of pirates based on some of the recent news stories of Somali pirates, et.al. Instead of doing that, I will tell some pirate jokes.

Have you seen the new pirate movie? It's rated aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrr!

What's a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it's aaaaaarr, but it's not. It's P. It's like aaaaaaaaaaaaarrr, but it's missing a leg.

Deep Thoughs:
I bet treasure chests without handles really annoyed pirates because how the hell am I supposed to carry this thing?

If they ever have a swashbucking school, I hope one of the classes is Laughing And Then Jumping Off Something.

Pirates sailed around the world looking for buried treasure, but what they didn't realize is that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.

This is a pretty good video if you want to learn how to talk like a pirate:

how to talk like a pirate

A few months ago, I dreamed I was a pirate captain. Despite what you may think, I don't actually have dreams like this very often. In my dream I was sailing around the brightly colored Caribbean looking for ships to attack, when all of a sudden I thought: I am a Mormon; I probably shouldn't be killing people. I thought maybe I could get away with just stealing and not actually killing anyone, but then I thought that stealing wouldn't be considered being honest with my fellow beings. In an effort to suppliment our piratical income, I organized a bake sale. The point of this story is this: perhaps someone should mention this solution to the Somali pirates. I mean, who doesn't love a good cupcake?

And finally, I leave you with ... the janitor.........

janitor!