we heart drew

My sister Elizabeth is doing a triathlon this weekend to benefit her friend Drew who has cancer.  Should you feel so inclined, you can look him up on his blog and donate to his cause.

drew

Go Liz!

earrings and things

The back story:  For Halloween, I wore a track suit, loads of makeup, big "Utah" hair, high heels, bangles and huge hoop earrings. Then, a name tag that said "your mom".  I'm not going to lie, it was pretty hot.

The story:  The earrings I wore came with two other, smaller pairs.  I decided to wear the smallest of the three to church. 

At the beginning of Sunday School, before separating for classes, each organization makes announcements for what they have coming up.  This week it was Legolas's turn to make the announcement for the activities committee.  Before he got up, a member of my committee asked if she could say something about break the fast when I gave the announcement.  I told her it was Legolas's turn, but that she still could.  Well, when he stood up to give the announcement - he wasn't close to me (for once) - and I tried to get his attention so I could tell him that this girl needed to say something.

Mid-announcement, Legolas said, "Hold on, kristin is trying to say something to me, but I'm being distracted by her huge hoops."  Half the ward turned around to look at me and I got many compliments throughout the day on my lovely earrings.

Later, Guy Montag came up to me and asked what the deal was with my big lips.  I must have had a confused look on my face because he said, "You know, what Legolas was distracted by?"  I told him Legolas said "hoops" not "lips".  Guy said that I should make sure that's what people thought he said because it sure sounded like lips to him.

He was not the only one who misheard.  On the drive home, Scout told me that another (male) member of the ward thought that Legolas said "boobs".  (Of course, one look at me, and you know I've got nothing that could be considered distracting in that area.)

I guess the take away here is to be careful of the words you use when describing other people in front of the whole ward.

benjamin scott folds

Wednesday night, Lady MacBeth and I headed to glorious downtown Columbus for a Ben Folds concert. It wasn't your typical Ben Folds concert.  (Or so I'm told - I've never actually seen Ben live before.)  It wasn't even on the tour dates list of his current tour.  The difference was that instead of playing with a band, he played with the Columbus Symphony.  They still played all his songs, but arranged for orchestra.  Some of the songs were just lovely and the rest were freaking awesome.  I don't know who could have come up with such a great idea, but I really liked it.

I think one of the reasons that I like Ben so much is that he actually studied music.  He really can rock out on the piano.  He knows the chord progressions and the modes and all that.  And he's totally amazing at it.  You've heard his songs on the radio, no doubt.  But he is even better than that.  And he loves performing, you can tell.  He really caters to the crowd.  After the program was finished, he dismissed the orchestra and just played a few of his songs on the piano by himself and it was still awesome.

(Side note: the opening "band" was an acapella group from Ohio University called the Leading Tones. I wonder what they resolve to! Ha ha! Get it? Anyone... no? ...chirp chirp....)

Point being, if you ever get the chance to see Ben Folds performing live, I highly recommend it.  Especially with an orchestra.

the best medicine

Last night I fell asleep with all my bedroom lights on (again).  I woke myself up by laughing at something in my dream.  Now that is a pleasant way to wake up.

And a post from my favorite cartoonist's blog: (since we're in marriage week, it seems.)

the secret of a long marriage

just when i thought i was in a safe place

Remember my last post? Okay, fine, so maybe sometimes I bring it upon myself.

Last Saturday I went to the temple with Legolas.  (Yes, Braden, I am temple worthy and I go. So there.)  In the Columbus temple, you have to make appointments for everything you do.  By the time we were making appointments, the only thing available was sealings.  Well, I enjoy sealings, and temple work is temple work, right? Right.  So we went.

I should have known better.

It started out when I ran into a woman from my home branch.  We chatted for a bit and then I said I needed to get off to the sealing room.  She raised her eyebrows in surprise and then gave me a knowing smile.  I didn't know how to respond, so I just went my way.

When we were there, the sealer went around asking for last names.  There were two couples besides Legolas and me.  The sealer asked for Legolas's last name, and I could tell he was going to go on before asking me, so I just piped up with, "And my last name is Neeley."

"Oh!" he said, surprised.  He consulted his list of names.  "We do have a Sister Neeley on the list.  I guess that's why you should never assume anything, right?"  Right.

We had to wait a few minutes for someone to come in so one of the other couples asked us about ourselves.  I said I was a native of Ohio.  Legolas said he was originally from Utah, but he'd moved to Ohio for dental school.

"Oh!" said the sealer, knowingly.  "I bet that's not the only reason you were supposed to come out here."  He looked pointedly at me.  I didn't know what to say.  It didn't seem like the time or place to tell him that Legolas and I were just friends.  (Sometimes boys and girls can just be friends. I know! It's true!)  We just let it slide.

Another temple worker came into the room to help out.  The sealer was telling him about the people in the room and then he said, looking at Legolas and me, "And we get to do some practice sealings today!"  I turned my head and laughed.  Still we didn't know what to say.

After the session was over, the sealer came to talk to Legolas and me.  He must of noticed that we didn't hold hands and the general lack of googaly-ness on our part and perhaps he thought it was his fault.  He apologized for saying we were doing practice sealings and hoped we weren't mad. Of course we weren't - we thought it was pretty funny.  That eased his mind.  But I'm sure he still went home to his wife and told her how wonderful it was that young people these days were going on dates to the sealing room of the temple.

We were able to leave the temple without further incident.

on spinsterhood

I'm sorry if this sounds more bitter than I intend.

First, I'll start out with a test for you:
In many of my posts on here, I mention my friend, Legolas.  I've known him for about two years.  We hang out quite a bit and I consider him to be one of my dearest friends.  I would say I usually see him at least five days a week, and sometimes oftener.  Recently, as you know, I was called to be the co-chair of the activities committee in my ward, with Legolas as the other co-chair.  Last week I found out that Legolas is now my home teacher as well.

If you thought to yourself after reading the above paragraph something along the lines of "she is sure thrown in with Legolas a lot; she is probably going to hook up with him" you failed the test.  

To be fair, if you thought that it is most likely because you don't see Legolas and I together a whole lot.  If you are from Columbus you probably thought something more along the lines of "Heavenly Father sure is trying to teach kristin patience".  I do love Legolas; I do.  He just knows me well enough to know how to really make me angry.  And he makes me angry on purpose because he thinks it's funny. A marriage to him would be short, and one of us would inevitably end up in prison for murder. (Most likely me as I'm more cunning than him.)  (And, he feels the same way, lest you think I'm breaking his heart.)

I've noticed a trend.  It seems like married people are the worst offenders when it comes to saying awkward things to me.  It's like there's something in the "marrieds only" drinking fountains that makes them forget how it was being single.  Married people think that because they got married, they are wise and must help us poor singles who are not wise.  There are a few notable exceptions, of course. Mrs. Weasley, Anne of Green Gables and Scout must have taken the vaccine because they seem to remember being single and don't say some of the awful things that other people seem to think are okay.  Can I just run through a quick list of things that people really have said to me and why they annoy me?  Consider it a public service announcement to my married friends.  Are you wondering why your single friends no longer want to talk to you? This could be why.

First off, general statements that I get all the time.
- "You just need to get out there more."  Sometimes I think people don't understand that I really do actually want to get married.  Yes, I spend my time doing things like travelling and being happy instead of working on my hope chest, but I would honstely and truly love this blessing in my life.  I'm not actively avoiding men.  I go to church, to FHE, to institute, to parties, to ward activites, etc. And I even talk to people while I'm there.  I'm not sure what else you want me to do. (Though, I'm sure you've got some great ideas you could share with me.)  I do skip Sunday School sometimes. Maybe that's my problem.
- "You're just being too picky."  Girls who don't go out every weekend don't feel picky; we feel ugly. And I don't want to just be married - I also want to be happy.  My dad always says he'd rather I was single and happy than married and unhappy.  If I'd wanted to just be married, I think I could be.  Perhaps I'm being cocky, but occasionally men are actually interested in me. But why would I marry someone forever if I know we couldn't be happy together? I realize that everyone has problems in their marriage, but sometimes I know I just couldn't respect someone in that way.  That's not being picky - it's being realistic.
- "So, do you have your eye on anyone?"  I never answer this question in the affirmative, even if I do.  The asker will always want details and then they will always ask you about the young man in questions for the rest of your life along with helpful advice like, "you should invite him over for dinner." Brilliant! No wonder I'm still single - I'm too dumb to think of things like that!
- "Don't worry - you're still young."  I hate this.  Not only is it condescending, but to quote from one of my favorite books, The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery - "Oh, I know. Yes, I'm 'still young' - but that's so different from young." It's like saying, "We haven't quite given up on you yet, but would you hurry up? You don't have much time here!"

And now, non-general statements; things that people have actually said.
- "Are you going to try to get married, or are you going to be an old maid like your sisters?"  This statement was made in front of one of my unmarried sisters.  Thank you Mr. Tact.  I'm pretty sure I told him I was going to be an old maid.
- "You know you're breaking your mother's heart, right?"  Now I have the have responsibility for my mom's heartache as well as my own.  If only I knew how sad my singleness was making my mother, I would have tired harder. I guess I'm just heartless. Maybe if you have a kitten, I can kick it.
- "If you aren't dating any boys in your ward, maybe you should date a non-member and convert him."  This was my grandma's advice.  I guess she's given up on me marrying in the church.  I don't think she realizes that most people these days expect to have sex before they get married, but other than that, it is a fool proof plan.
- "What if you have been fighting it for so long that one of your little Legolases doesn't get to be born anymore?" This was said to me by one of my friends who thinks I'm just being stubborn about not wanting to date Legolas.  I kind of felt like she'd punched me in the stomach.  Trust me, I'm acutely aware of my biological clock and it really does worry me that maybe I won't be able to have all the children I'd like.

Again - I'm sorry it sounds like I'm just a bitter old maid.  (Maybe I am.)  I just think sometimes people don't realize how they sound when they say these things.  I feel like when people just want to know about my singleness, that they're condensing my whole life into the one fact that I'm still not married.  When you look at it that way, maybe I am a failure.  But I've done so many other things in my life, too.  It's not like being single is a disease that needs to be fixed.  And, yes, I'm sure there are loads of things I could be doing better in my life that would make me more attractive to the opposite sex.  But please don't define me by my social status.  Deal? Deal.

Whew! Now that I've gotten that off my chest, can I just say, have you seen how good looking Legolas is in his new shirt? I wonder if he'd like to come over for dinner this weekend... I mean, It's not like I'm getting any younger....

ode to the librarian

One of the most fun things about being in Utah last weekend was seeing my friend, the Librarian, in the flesh.  We talk to each other a great deal, but it's always lovely to see your friends in person.  (Well, usually it's fun to see your friends in person.  But it is always fun to see the Librarian in person.)  I think the reason we get along so well is that we are basically the same person - funny, readers, just a little bit inappropriate.  (Plus she's a total hottie.) When we're together we just make fun of things the whole time.  When we were in the same ward we had to not sit next to each other in sacrament meeting.  Because you already know I'm going to be saying inappropriate things and it just makes it worse to have a ready and willing listener and replier. 

One of the ways that the Librarian differs from me is in the giving of gifts.  She is way better at it than I am.  She is just so amazingly creative. 

Last summer I recieved this as a prize:

Yeah, it's a gong.  No, I'm not telling you what I won it for.

Then for my birthday that year she got me this:

Because what pirate doesn't need a spyglass?  I've definitely used it for spying.  On ships.

And for Christmas last year:

It's a mug.  I'm pretty sure it's made out of a real human skull.

And finally for my birthday this year:

I guess she's trying to make me understand white people better.  (Plus she also gave me a book and a pirate pen. She is the only person brave enough to give me books any more.  It really is dangerous because I do have an awful lot of books, but she still braves it.) 

How does she come up with this stuff?  The best I can do usually is a gift card to Barnes and Noble.  I'm pretty sure that we'd still be friends even if she wasn't such a great present giver, but I'm pretty worldy, so maybe not.  The point is... I hope I can enter another contest with her soon!