holiday books adendum

Well, I realized that I need to update my list a bit.

Books I forgot about that I'm adding to the list:
- Random Harvest by James Hilton (recommended by Rachel)
- Fablehaven by Brandon Mull (recommended by Sarah and Robbie)
- An Ordinary Man by Paul Rusesabagina (recommended by Derek)

Updates to my previous list:
- The "teenagers dying of cancer" book recommeded by Carrie is Six Months to Live by Lurlene McDaniel. (I'm already shuddering)
-The George MacDonald I decided on is The George MacDonald Treasury containing 7 short stories.
- Selected Works by Cicero

So, for those of you keeping track, that is a total of 16 books to finish by the arbitrary deadline I've set at January 10th. I've already finished 6 from the original list, and I am a pretty fast reader, so hopefully this will be feasable. In any case, I'm only reading 1 book per person until it looks like I'm going to be able to finish them all. (This would eliminate 3 books.) That's fair right? Right. (Good thing I remembered Derek recommended another book, so I may not be reading any Cicero after all - happy, Rebecca?)

Random fact: Due to my obsessiveness, I've figured out that if I do in fact read every book on my list it will be a total of 5429 pages. (I've finished 1919 so far.)

holiday books

Usually when people recommend books to me I just ignore them (unless the recommendations come from a reliable source like Erin J. or Rebecca). I mean, it's just hard for me to get into books unless I already have some kind of desire to read them. But this Christmas I am going to bite the bullet and read things that have been recommended to me in the recent past. Here is how my reading list looks so far:

- The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (recommended by Bryce)
- Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs (recommended by Jacob and Dave)
- My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult (recommended by Margret)
- The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchet (recommended by Aunt Krsten)
- The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery (recommended by some crazy lady at work who I don't even know but who stopped me one day, noticing I had a book in my hand and therefore thinking I would want her unsolicited opinion on books.)
- Anything by Cicero (recommended by Derek)
- Anything by George McDonald (recommended by Joseph)
- Son of the Shadows by Juliet Marillier (recommended by Aunt Krsten)
- Some book about teenagers dying of cancer (recommended by Carrie)
- The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fford (recommended by Margret)
- My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok (recommended by Megan)
- Saharah Special by Esme Raji Codell (recommended by I don't know who. I found it on my shelf and I know it's not mine and I think someone must have lent it to me, but I don't know who. If it's yours, please let me know.)

Addendum:
- The Red Tent by Anita Diamant (recommended by Kate on behalf of the Relief Society book club)

So, as you can see, I'm pretty open right now. I am even going to try books that people probably don't remember recommending to me. I will really attempt to get through all of these by early January. And if you have any recommendations, now is the time because I may not be so open hearted in the future. (Especially if this experiment is an utter failure.)

Soon to come: reviews of these books along with my opinion of the recommender.

little impulse control

I only know of a few people for sure who are reading this blog and most of you know me well enough to appreciate this story. (Names have been changed to protect.... me.)

As you well know, I'm fond of tripping people - just fake tripping, though. Yesterday at a ward activity, I fake tripped my friend Joe. I've done this to him many many times and he decided to retaliate. He is much taller than I am, and he put his hand on my forehead and said, "How are you going to get me now?" I reached out and of course I couldn't reach him with my hands. But you can't keep this girl down, so I fake kicked him. (Just wanting to show him that if I couldn't get him with my hands, I could still get him with my legs.)

Well, Joe let go of my head and kind of gave me a look. I said, "Just so you know, I was going for your stomach." (Lest he think I was really trying to hurt him.) He said, "Oh, no you weren't." I said, "I was so! And I didn't even really touch you!" To which Joe replied, "Oh yes you did!"

Heh.... heh heh. Ooops....... (At least it wasn't hard enough to do any damage....)

thanksgriving; family style

Everyone in my family is insane. This is why I like hanging out with my family. Now, it's the good insane that makes you nicer and not the bad insane that makes you kill people. But still, it makes for entertaining family gatherings.

Here are the highlights of my Thanksgiving Day (I was there just one day) just to give you an idea:

- My cousin, affectionately nicknamed "Ruthie the terrorist" (for reasons you may surmise) wanted to make corn muffins, so we decided to appease her rather than negotiate. For some reason she made about 10 billion muffins. I helped her to help her mom, who was busy with her other 11 children and trying to make the rest of dinner on the side. We had to do the actual baking in the apartment built onto my aunt's house as both of the regular ovens were filled with turkeys. The first time I went up there, to turn to oven on, I heard the shower going, and yet the bathroom door was wide open. My initial thought was that I should sneak in the bathroom and pull back the curtain and scare the living shibbity out of whoever was in there. I mean - we're all family right? I decided against this plan because 1. it was a holiday after all and 2. I would most likely end up getting chased around by a naked person wielding a shampoo bottle afterward. Well, I'm glad I didn't end up following my original instinct because I later found out the person in the shower was my cousin's husband. That would have been infamous. "Remember the Thanksgiving that Kristin saw Robbie naked?" Awkward. (P.S. the corn muffins ended up sticking to the pan and I think we threw most of them away.)

- During my uncle's Thanksgiving prayer, my aunt (the wife of said uncle) reminded him of the people that he had left off blessing. ("Don't forget Ryan", "And Linda's brother-in-law, Martin".) This, of course, caused the rest of us to open our eyes and give each other looks and then stuff our hands into our mouths so we wouldn't burst out laughing and ruin the rest of the prayer. At least we know for next year that requests mid-prayer are perfectly acceptable.

- My cousin, Sarah, told me about her family's not so subtle hints that it's time for her and her husband (the one I did not see naked) to concieve. (I have not seen any of my cousins-in-law naked.) Here is my favorite: Last Christmas, Olivia, who is 9 years old now, wanted to play Baby Jesus in the family rendition of the Christmas story. The family patiently explained that she was far to old to play a baby. Ruthie tactfully pointed out, "Well, if someone would have a baby, maybe we could have a real Baby Jesus!" (Yes, even the 11 year olds feel they have a say in their siblings family planning now.)

- For some reason, my dad thought it would be a good idea for us to take our family Christmas card picture at 11:00 at night, right before we were leaving. I can only imagine what people will think when they see it. ("Oh dear - they've been into the cooking sherry again.") At least I was wearing my "Girls Just Wanna Have Rum" shirt.

hiking in hocking hills

About an hour southeast of the great city of Columbus there is a state park called Hocking Hills. (I don't know why it's called Hocking Hills, so don't ask.) Early Saturday morning, four of us headed down to the park for a hike. Now, I haven't really done much cold weather hiking in the past, but this hike was just absolutely lovely. I went with some adventurers who weren't afraid to leave the trail to go exploring. We found this absolutely amazing cliff, off the beaten path, and some great caves. We even walked back in a dry creek bed, which may have been my favorite part. (Especially since we didn't get lost.) And, sure, it was cold, but once we got moving we warmed up pretty quickly.

Another thing I really loved about this hike was that we didn't see any other people at all. The whole time it was just us. True, we were hiking on a horse trail and it may have been hunting season (I'm still not sure if it was or not) but it felt like we owned the whole place. Of course, then we realized that it was the perfect setting for a horror movie - four travelers, 2 girls and 2 boys, who left the path to go exploring get picked off one by one by the mysterious hocking monster. The only thing that would have made it better is if two of us had dated at one time or if we were cheating on our spouse with someone. (This was not the case for any of the parties involved.) Hopefully I was the main character in this film, so I survived. I'm a pretty good screamer, so there's a fair chance that I was.

And then Ohio state totally smoked Michigan in their annual rivalry football game. What could be better? (Of course I fell asleep during the 4th quarter, only to wake up to a text message when the game was over, but it was still a great day.) (Of course, last night I did dream that I was being attacked by monsters, but it was in the library, not out in the open.)

poems my mother taught me as a child

1.
Spider, spider on the wall,
Don't you know that you might fall?
Don't you know that wall's been plastered?
Get off the wall you little spider!

2.
What a marvelous bird is the pelican!
His beak can hold more than his belly can.
He scoops up fish in his beak, like a dish,
And I don't know how in the helican!

3.
A primal insect knocked on wood,
Tasted it, and found it good,
And that is why your cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.

4.
Into the well
Aunt Eliza fell.
We must buy a filter.

the adjuster (and i don't mean insurance)

(Warning: there is a fair bit of griping and some possible gross material in this post.)

There is a guy I work with at my job. I call him my boss when I'm talking about him, but really he is just the team lead of my project. I do not report to him at all.

If I was a novelist, this is how I would describe him:

He was a short man, with a bit of a bulge around the middle, evidence of too much time spent indoors. His swarthy face sported beady eyes that always seemed to be looking in the wrong place and a mustache that gave him the look of a, well... you know what. Since his youth, he had developed a habit of closing off his nasal passage and then expelling the air from his nose every once in a while in a short burst. Although he believed himself to be young and vibrant, his age was apparent. He was already starting to grey at the sides of his once dark hair and his lack of knowledge of the younger generation, both style and language, was painfully obvious to all with whom he spoke. He was full of self-importance, always quick to expose the mistakes of others and point out his own superior ideas and work ethic. Though he cared very much about his job, he didn't care much about people, generally assuming that everyone was dumber than he was and treating them accordingly. He was never wrong; not ever. If there was ever any attempt to implicate him in anyway, no matter how slight, he would become affronted and defend his honor in the harshest of arguments to all within earshot, as if he thought any idle words would damage his attempts at advancement.

I generally think he's an okay guy and I wouldn't really mind working with him except for two things:
1. He is the world's worst micro-manager. He will stand behind my desk and watch me work and give "helpful" suggestions as he watches. (He has never done web programming, so he's really not that helpful.) His desk is very close to mine and about 20 times a day he calls my name to come look at something that is "broken". (It is either my fault or my problem perhaps 5% of the time.) I probably spend 35% of my day talking to him.
2. This is the worst: he is an "adjuster". As I am not a man, I'm sure I do not completely understand the need to do this. However, I know plenty of men, and I have never noticed such a disgusting thing in any of my friends. This guy is always touching himself - like almost constantly. And as he is always in my cubicle it just makes me feel sick all the time. It's creepy and gross and it gives me the jibblies!

hey kid, want some candy?

Last night my friend Gatsby's little sister, MK, called me. She is a high school senior and is taking a photography class. She needed to take some action shots, so she asked if she could take some pictures of me running. (Coming from her it was not creepy. Had Gatsby asked, I would have said no.) So, around 8 we headed off to Fred Beekman Park for the photo shoot. It was pretty fun, actually. She took some shots of me with some special trickery that made me look like a ghost. (Or maybe I really am a ghost - maybe her camera takes pictures of dead people.)

At one point in the evening there was a slow, sketchy van that stopped a short distance from us. It made us a little nervous as there is a serial rapist in Columbus right now and Gatsby refused to come with us to protect us. (True, he may have had a legitimate excuse and the park is really well lighted and populated, but still.) It slowly pulled up to us and just as I was about to shout, "RUN!" we saw the inhabitants and it was just a couple of old ladies. They were being polite and were waiting to drive by so as not to be in our picture. Still, if they would have asked us if we wanted to see their gingerbread house, I would have said no.

Afterward, we stopped by a hip little smoothie shop for "pochies". They are a special kind of Asian smoothie, I guess. MK recommended getting "bubbles" in mine. She said it was just tapioca, which I don't like, but I figured it might be okay with a boatload of pineapple. (Everything with pineapple is good right?) But this wasn't your normal tapioca. This was tapioca on steroids. The little black things in there were the size of peas! The first time I sucked one up my abnormally large straw I almost lost it. After that, I just spit them out. (Try to imagine black, sqishy peas flying out of MK's white VW Beetle at 65 mph.)

from russia with love

Well, Little Sister got home from her mission on Thursday night. It was a delight to see her. She went to the Baltic Mission which comprises Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia. She spoke Russian. (As part of the former CCCP, most people there speak Russian, though many do not like to, as it is the language of oppression.) She spent the weekend teaching me Russian words and phrases since "no one here speaks Russian." (I didn't have the heart to tell her that the reason was because the United States won the cold war.....)

I spent the weekend at my parents' house, which meant having to do things with my parents' branch - including a Halloween party. I'm sure everyone means well, but they always ask the same tiring questions:
"So, when are you going to get married?" (Answer: "How the H would I know?")
"Do you have your eye on anyone?" (Answer: the eye roll)
"When are you and your siblings going to finally decide to settle down and give your parents some grandchildren?" (Answer: When you start keeping your nose out of my business. In other words, never.)
"Well, now all your siblings have been on missions - but not you. Do you think you'll go now?" (Answer: blerg)
The highlight was when my other mother in the branch told me to just do what one of her daughters did and have a baby out of wedlock - "Then people don't ask when you will get married." (PS. She was joking. She was not advocating immorality.)

In other news - my sister told me about a fun "game" one of her companions's uncles would play with her called "Russian Spy." Said uncle would "interrogate" the companion (she was younger - about 8ish) and say in a thick Russian accent: "What is your name?!" The companion would state her name and the uncle would slap her face (lightly - in a playing manner) back and forth with the front and back of his hand and say, "Lies! Tell me your name!" Companion would again say her name and again recieve this same treatment. I'm not sure how long this game lasted, but little sister thought it was pretty funny.

Games played this weekend: Russian Spy, Don't Eat Pete!, Ticket to Ride, Majong, Pinochle

will work for food

I was kind of annoyed that I have to go to this "Annual Tour" that my company is giving. It's kind of like a company wide meeting after hours. But then I found out they are serving food. I signed up for the fillet mignon. Woot.

Mission to Mars

Family update: My parents got home from their mission yesterday. (They went to San Jose, California.) I went up to see them today. They are doing quite well - adjusting to their new life of being able to change their clothes after church and watch Nascar on tv. (Mom doesn't watch Nascar, just dad.)

Here's a funny story dad told me:
There was a missionary in his mission of Tongan decent who was very big and very strong. (He told mom and dad that he would always "have their back" if need be.) At one point in the story (I was fading in and out in my paying attention, so I'm not exactly sure how the missionary got to this point) the missionary had to use the bathroom and there was just one of those bathrooms in the church that only has one toilet and sink - you know what I mean. Well, the missionary went to use the bathroom and when he opened the door there was another guy in there washing his hands. Missionary apologized for the intrusion and said, "You know, you really ought to lock the door." Man in bathroom replied, "I did!" The missionary was so strong, he didn't even realized he pulled a door open that was locked. Yikes Spikes! I would want him to have my back!

Soon to come: little sister getting home from mission.

6 insignificant things about me

Since Erin challenged me to do this and since she is most likely to be the only one who reads this blog, I'll do it. Here are 6 insignificant things about kristin:

1. I have never broken a bone, but when I was 8 my appendix exploded. My parents thought I just had the flu, and finally my mom took me to the doctor. He told her, "I don't want to make you feel bad, but your daughter's appendix has ruptured; we need to get her into surgery right away."

2. Speaking of surgery, I had plastic surgery my freshman year of college on my ears to make them not stick out. My uncle is a plastic surgeon and he did it for free. I have not regretted it even once.

3. I like the smell of cigarettes and pipe smoke. It reminds me of baseball games and amusement parks.

4. My elbows are double jointed. Or perhaps "super-jointed". I don't know. But they can bend into an obtuse angle the wrong way and it frequently creeps people out.

5. These are the states I have NOT been to: Alaska, Hawaii, North Dakota, Wisconsin, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire.

6. These are the things Erin said I should include:
a. My greatest wish in life is to become a professional pirate - on the high seas.
b. I buy books like it's going out of style. I just love books. More than I love most people.
c. I'm almost short enough to be considered handicapped. (ps. This is not true. I am well over 5 feet tall. Like at least 3 and 3/8 of an inch taller.)

i guess i'll start a blog

everyone else is doing it, so why can't we (well, me)?

cheers!