benjamin scott folds

Wednesday night, Lady MacBeth and I headed to glorious downtown Columbus for a Ben Folds concert. It wasn't your typical Ben Folds concert.  (Or so I'm told - I've never actually seen Ben live before.)  It wasn't even on the tour dates list of his current tour.  The difference was that instead of playing with a band, he played with the Columbus Symphony.  They still played all his songs, but arranged for orchestra.  Some of the songs were just lovely and the rest were freaking awesome.  I don't know who could have come up with such a great idea, but I really liked it.

I think one of the reasons that I like Ben so much is that he actually studied music.  He really can rock out on the piano.  He knows the chord progressions and the modes and all that.  And he's totally amazing at it.  You've heard his songs on the radio, no doubt.  But he is even better than that.  And he loves performing, you can tell.  He really caters to the crowd.  After the program was finished, he dismissed the orchestra and just played a few of his songs on the piano by himself and it was still awesome.

(Side note: the opening "band" was an acapella group from Ohio University called the Leading Tones. I wonder what they resolve to! Ha ha! Get it? Anyone... no? ...chirp chirp....)

Point being, if you ever get the chance to see Ben Folds performing live, I highly recommend it.  Especially with an orchestra.

the best medicine

Last night I fell asleep with all my bedroom lights on (again).  I woke myself up by laughing at something in my dream.  Now that is a pleasant way to wake up.

And a post from my favorite cartoonist's blog: (since we're in marriage week, it seems.)

the secret of a long marriage

just when i thought i was in a safe place

Remember my last post? Okay, fine, so maybe sometimes I bring it upon myself.

Last Saturday I went to the temple with Legolas.  (Yes, Braden, I am temple worthy and I go. So there.)  In the Columbus temple, you have to make appointments for everything you do.  By the time we were making appointments, the only thing available was sealings.  Well, I enjoy sealings, and temple work is temple work, right? Right.  So we went.

I should have known better.

It started out when I ran into a woman from my home branch.  We chatted for a bit and then I said I needed to get off to the sealing room.  She raised her eyebrows in surprise and then gave me a knowing smile.  I didn't know how to respond, so I just went my way.

When we were there, the sealer went around asking for last names.  There were two couples besides Legolas and me.  The sealer asked for Legolas's last name, and I could tell he was going to go on before asking me, so I just piped up with, "And my last name is Neeley."

"Oh!" he said, surprised.  He consulted his list of names.  "We do have a Sister Neeley on the list.  I guess that's why you should never assume anything, right?"  Right.

We had to wait a few minutes for someone to come in so one of the other couples asked us about ourselves.  I said I was a native of Ohio.  Legolas said he was originally from Utah, but he'd moved to Ohio for dental school.

"Oh!" said the sealer, knowingly.  "I bet that's not the only reason you were supposed to come out here."  He looked pointedly at me.  I didn't know what to say.  It didn't seem like the time or place to tell him that Legolas and I were just friends.  (Sometimes boys and girls can just be friends. I know! It's true!)  We just let it slide.

Another temple worker came into the room to help out.  The sealer was telling him about the people in the room and then he said, looking at Legolas and me, "And we get to do some practice sealings today!"  I turned my head and laughed.  Still we didn't know what to say.

After the session was over, the sealer came to talk to Legolas and me.  He must of noticed that we didn't hold hands and the general lack of googaly-ness on our part and perhaps he thought it was his fault.  He apologized for saying we were doing practice sealings and hoped we weren't mad. Of course we weren't - we thought it was pretty funny.  That eased his mind.  But I'm sure he still went home to his wife and told her how wonderful it was that young people these days were going on dates to the sealing room of the temple.

We were able to leave the temple without further incident.

on spinsterhood

I'm sorry if this sounds more bitter than I intend.

First, I'll start out with a test for you:
In many of my posts on here, I mention my friend, Legolas.  I've known him for about two years.  We hang out quite a bit and I consider him to be one of my dearest friends.  I would say I usually see him at least five days a week, and sometimes oftener.  Recently, as you know, I was called to be the co-chair of the activities committee in my ward, with Legolas as the other co-chair.  Last week I found out that Legolas is now my home teacher as well.

If you thought to yourself after reading the above paragraph something along the lines of "she is sure thrown in with Legolas a lot; she is probably going to hook up with him" you failed the test.  

To be fair, if you thought that it is most likely because you don't see Legolas and I together a whole lot.  If you are from Columbus you probably thought something more along the lines of "Heavenly Father sure is trying to teach kristin patience".  I do love Legolas; I do.  He just knows me well enough to know how to really make me angry.  And he makes me angry on purpose because he thinks it's funny. A marriage to him would be short, and one of us would inevitably end up in prison for murder. (Most likely me as I'm more cunning than him.)  (And, he feels the same way, lest you think I'm breaking his heart.)

I've noticed a trend.  It seems like married people are the worst offenders when it comes to saying awkward things to me.  It's like there's something in the "marrieds only" drinking fountains that makes them forget how it was being single.  Married people think that because they got married, they are wise and must help us poor singles who are not wise.  There are a few notable exceptions, of course. Mrs. Weasley, Anne of Green Gables and Scout must have taken the vaccine because they seem to remember being single and don't say some of the awful things that other people seem to think are okay.  Can I just run through a quick list of things that people really have said to me and why they annoy me?  Consider it a public service announcement to my married friends.  Are you wondering why your single friends no longer want to talk to you? This could be why.

First off, general statements that I get all the time.
- "You just need to get out there more."  Sometimes I think people don't understand that I really do actually want to get married.  Yes, I spend my time doing things like travelling and being happy instead of working on my hope chest, but I would honstely and truly love this blessing in my life.  I'm not actively avoiding men.  I go to church, to FHE, to institute, to parties, to ward activites, etc. And I even talk to people while I'm there.  I'm not sure what else you want me to do. (Though, I'm sure you've got some great ideas you could share with me.)  I do skip Sunday School sometimes. Maybe that's my problem.
- "You're just being too picky."  Girls who don't go out every weekend don't feel picky; we feel ugly. And I don't want to just be married - I also want to be happy.  My dad always says he'd rather I was single and happy than married and unhappy.  If I'd wanted to just be married, I think I could be.  Perhaps I'm being cocky, but occasionally men are actually interested in me. But why would I marry someone forever if I know we couldn't be happy together? I realize that everyone has problems in their marriage, but sometimes I know I just couldn't respect someone in that way.  That's not being picky - it's being realistic.
- "So, do you have your eye on anyone?"  I never answer this question in the affirmative, even if I do.  The asker will always want details and then they will always ask you about the young man in questions for the rest of your life along with helpful advice like, "you should invite him over for dinner." Brilliant! No wonder I'm still single - I'm too dumb to think of things like that!
- "Don't worry - you're still young."  I hate this.  Not only is it condescending, but to quote from one of my favorite books, The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery - "Oh, I know. Yes, I'm 'still young' - but that's so different from young." It's like saying, "We haven't quite given up on you yet, but would you hurry up? You don't have much time here!"

And now, non-general statements; things that people have actually said.
- "Are you going to try to get married, or are you going to be an old maid like your sisters?"  This statement was made in front of one of my unmarried sisters.  Thank you Mr. Tact.  I'm pretty sure I told him I was going to be an old maid.
- "You know you're breaking your mother's heart, right?"  Now I have the have responsibility for my mom's heartache as well as my own.  If only I knew how sad my singleness was making my mother, I would have tired harder. I guess I'm just heartless. Maybe if you have a kitten, I can kick it.
- "If you aren't dating any boys in your ward, maybe you should date a non-member and convert him."  This was my grandma's advice.  I guess she's given up on me marrying in the church.  I don't think she realizes that most people these days expect to have sex before they get married, but other than that, it is a fool proof plan.
- "What if you have been fighting it for so long that one of your little Legolases doesn't get to be born anymore?" This was said to me by one of my friends who thinks I'm just being stubborn about not wanting to date Legolas.  I kind of felt like she'd punched me in the stomach.  Trust me, I'm acutely aware of my biological clock and it really does worry me that maybe I won't be able to have all the children I'd like.

Again - I'm sorry it sounds like I'm just a bitter old maid.  (Maybe I am.)  I just think sometimes people don't realize how they sound when they say these things.  I feel like when people just want to know about my singleness, that they're condensing my whole life into the one fact that I'm still not married.  When you look at it that way, maybe I am a failure.  But I've done so many other things in my life, too.  It's not like being single is a disease that needs to be fixed.  And, yes, I'm sure there are loads of things I could be doing better in my life that would make me more attractive to the opposite sex.  But please don't define me by my social status.  Deal? Deal.

Whew! Now that I've gotten that off my chest, can I just say, have you seen how good looking Legolas is in his new shirt? I wonder if he'd like to come over for dinner this weekend... I mean, It's not like I'm getting any younger....

ode to the librarian

One of the most fun things about being in Utah last weekend was seeing my friend, the Librarian, in the flesh.  We talk to each other a great deal, but it's always lovely to see your friends in person.  (Well, usually it's fun to see your friends in person.  But it is always fun to see the Librarian in person.)  I think the reason we get along so well is that we are basically the same person - funny, readers, just a little bit inappropriate.  (Plus she's a total hottie.) When we're together we just make fun of things the whole time.  When we were in the same ward we had to not sit next to each other in sacrament meeting.  Because you already know I'm going to be saying inappropriate things and it just makes it worse to have a ready and willing listener and replier. 

One of the ways that the Librarian differs from me is in the giving of gifts.  She is way better at it than I am.  She is just so amazingly creative. 

Last summer I recieved this as a prize:

Yeah, it's a gong.  No, I'm not telling you what I won it for.

Then for my birthday that year she got me this:

Because what pirate doesn't need a spyglass?  I've definitely used it for spying.  On ships.

And for Christmas last year:

It's a mug.  I'm pretty sure it's made out of a real human skull.

And finally for my birthday this year:

I guess she's trying to make me understand white people better.  (Plus she also gave me a book and a pirate pen. She is the only person brave enough to give me books any more.  It really is dangerous because I do have an awful lot of books, but she still braves it.) 

How does she come up with this stuff?  The best I can do usually is a gift card to Barnes and Noble.  I'm pretty sure that we'd still be friends even if she wasn't such a great present giver, but I'm pretty worldy, so maybe not.  The point is... I hope I can enter another contest with her soon!

i'm in love with a fictional character

Last week I watched "North and South" and I liked it, so I decided to read the book.  I like to pretend that I'm not a silly girl, but I totally heart John Thorton now.  With descriptions like these, how could I not?

He went slowly down the steps right into the middle of the crowd. 'Now kill me, if it is your brutal will. There is no woman to shield me here. You may beat me to death--you will never move me from what I have determined upon--not you!' He stood amongst them, with his arms folded, in precisely the same attitude as he had been in on the steps. (Chapter 22)

"But I know she does not care for me. I shall put myself at her feet--I must. If it were but one chance in a thousand--or a million--I should do it." - John Thorton (Chapter 23)

Mr. Thornton remained in the dining-room, trying to think of the business he had to do at the police-office, and in reality thinking of Margaret. Everything seemed dim and vague beyond--behind--besides the touch of her arms round his neck--the soft clinging which made the dark colour come and go in his cheek as he thought of it. (Chapter 23)

"One word more. You look as if you thought it tainted you to be loved by me. You cannot avoid it. Nay, I, if I would, cannot cleanse you from it. But I would not, if I could. I have never loved any woman before: my life has been too busy, my thoughts too much absorbed with other things. Now I love, and will love. But do not be afraid of too much expression on my part." - John Thorton (Chapter 24)

When Mr. Thornton had left the house that morning he was almost blinded by his baffled passion. He was as dizzy as if Margaret, instead of looking, and speaking, and moving like a tender graceful woman, had been a sturdy fish-wife, and given him a sound blow with her fists. He had positive bodily pain,--a violent headache, and a throbbing intermittent pulse. He could not bear the noise, the garish light, the continued rumble and movement of the street. He called himself a fool for suffering so; and yet he could not, at the moment, recollect the cause of his suffering, and whether it was adequate to the consequences it had produced. It would have been a relief to him, if he could have sat down and cried on a door-step by a little child, who was raging and storming, through his passionate tears, at some injury he had received. He said to himself, that he hated Margaret, but a wild, sharp sensation of love cleft his dull, thunderous feeling like lightning, even as he shaped the words expressive of hatred. His greatest comfort was in hugging his torment; and in feeling, as he had indeed said to her, that though she might despise him, contemn him, treat him with her proud sovereign indifference, he did not change one whit. She could not make him change. He loved her, and would love her; and defy her, and this miserable bodily pain. (Chapter 27)

He thought that he disliked seeing one who had mortified him so keenly; but he was mistaken. It was a stinging pleasure to be in the room with her, and feel her presence. (Chapter 29)

Okay, you get the idea. And of course, it doesn't hurt anything that the image my mind calls up when reading these passages is this:

*sigh*

weekend update with seth meyers

(Okay, I lied, Seth Meyer wasn't really part of my weekend.  But my weekend would have been a lot more funny if he had been there.)

I went to Utah this weekend.  I know, I know, you're mad at me because I didn't see you. I'm sorry!  I tried to keep it on the dl because I knew I wouldn't have time to see a lot of people.  So, try to forgive me.  I'll see you the next time I'm in town, I'm sure.

The main reason I went to Utah was for Kacey and Joe's wedding.  (Every time you think "Kacey and Joe" do you think "K-C and Jojo"? Me too.)  It was a lovely wedding.  I ran into my friend Lisa's husband, randomly.  He was waiting for another wedding party to come out of the temple. Sadly, Lisa wasn't there, but I guess you take what you can get.  It was nice seeing old friends from the ward both at the wedding and at the reception.  Especially Sleakbean and Anne of Green Gables (and Gilbert) since it was Anne's birthday and I just like those two.

The rest of the short weekend was spent with my sister Lizzy.  We spent some time with the aunts and cousins and the lot, playing pinochle and having a grand old time.  And I have a new show for you to watch, along the lines of "Jane Eyre" and "Sense and Sensibility" : "North and South".  Lizzy really likes this one, and I enjoyed it too.  (It's the BBC production based on the book by Elizabeth Glaskell, not the one about the Civil War.) Mr. Thorton was another angry, brooding, moody, dark hero and I found him delightful.  Why do I like angry men so much? It's a mystery.  (I hope my liking Mr. Thorton doesn't make me like Sir Guy of Gisborne from the new BBC Robin Hood that I've been enjoying, thanks to you, Melissa.)  I need to read the book.

In other news - I got a new calling while I was away this weekend.  It is probably one of my least favorite callings: activities committee co-chair.  (True, I've never been the co-chair before, just on the committee, but I imagine co-chair is worse than just committee member.)  I guess despite my hopes, no one voted against me and I'm due to start right away.  *sigh*  The funny thing is that Legolas is the other co-chair, as if I don't see him enough.  But at least he's someone who I probably won't strangle.  Probably.

And that was my weekend.  Is it a good idea to stay up so late updating my blog? Probably not.  But I'm not working tomorrow (well, I guess it's today now) because I work for a state agency and tomorrow is a state holiday (Columbus day) hence the office is closed.  Hopefully I'll spend my day running and getting my hair back to red again.  I know some of you said you liked it, but I really don't like the blond.  And that's all I've got tonight.  Cheers!

oooooooooh fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddddddddddggggee

Yesterday, I decided to go outside for lunch to stretch my legs and get some fresh air.  I was planning on stopping by my car briefly to grab something, so I had my keys with me.  I didn't bring my purse because who wants to be lugging that around and it was perfectly safe at my desk.  So I just had my keys hanging lightly out of my pocket - the one key in the pocket, the rest outside kind of thing.  (I don't like having my pockets full of keys.) 

As I was stepping out of the elevator, I felt my keys slip out of my pocket.  I looked down for them, but I didn't see them, which confused me.  I felt my pocket to see if I was wrong and they were still there.  Then I saw the horrified look on the face of the woman still in the elevator. 

"They went down that hole," she said in hushed tones, pointing to the gap between the elevator and the floor.

It took me a second to realize what she was saying.  I saw the look on the faces of the people waiting for the elevator - they seemed shocked.  It sunk in - my keys were not going to be found on the floor.  I wasn't quite sure what the next step was, so I just stood there stupidly for a moment trying to think what to do.

"The security people can get them for you," said the lady in the elevator. 

I decided this was my best chance in any case, so I got back into the elevator and took it to the ground floor.  The lady in the elevator, deciding I was incompetent, strode up to the security desk and told them I'd lost my keys down the elevator shaft.  I smiled and tried to look like I wasn't an idiot.  The security guy said he could get my keys, no problem, and what did they look like?  I told him, but then I was wondering why would he ask me such a question. Was he expecting a whole heap of keys down there and wanted to make sure he brought back the right ones?  Did he think that I saw someone else drop their keys and if I got to security first, I'd get them?  I don't know the answers.  But he did bring me back the right set of keys, and sent me on my way.

At least I didn't drop them into a pool of lava because then, man, they'd be gone.

diet pineapple coke morning

Last night I did something I haven't done in quite a while - I stayed up super late to finish a book.  True, I only read four hours last night, but I didn't start until midnight. (Why did I start reading a book about six hours after I wanted to go to bed? It's a mystery. I'm not qualified to make good decisions after 10:00 pm.)  I kept telling myself I would read just one more chapter; just one more.  By the time it was three in the morning, I knew I was going to finish, so I stopped fighting it.  When I did finish, I was wide awake wondering how I was going to get just a bit of sleep for work today when all of a sudden my alarm was going off and it was two hours later.  I must have problems distinguishing between tired and not tired.

It was a good book and very engaging - The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins - but nothing life changing by any means.  (Spoiler alert: It did make my cry in the middle.  I give Lady MacBeth a hard time for crying at movies, but nothing makes me cry like books do.)  And now I'm left to sip caffeine all day and wait for the chance to take a nap.

Don't forget about Kristin and Erin's online bookclub!

book club....

frazzled

When I was a kid, we used to say our mom was "frazzled".  It seemed like a much nicer word than "ditzy".  Besides, she isn't blond and it seems only blonds can be truly ditzy.

Well, for the time being, I'm blond.  And I can say I am truly ditzy sometimes.  And I don't even have five children, so I can't claim anything other than myself for my shortcomings.  And of course, I've got a few stories to illistrate my point.

Story 1:
My temple recommend expired in September.  So I needed a new one because I like having a current temple recommend and also because I'm going to a wedding next weekend and usually they don't let you witness temple weddings without one.  So, I made an appointment with the bishop on Tuesday and got a new one.  While I was in his office, he had me get out my old recommend so he could copy down the membership information and what not.  At the end of the interview, he gave me back my old recommend (I was going to use it again before it expired) and the new one so I could take it to my stake president interview.  I put them both in my journal, so I wouldn't lose them.

Wednesday I had an appointment at the temple.  I was going to leave and I thought - Oh yeah, my recommend is in my journal, I'd better go get it.  But when I went to get it, it wasn't there! Panic! I checked again.  And again.  I checked my car in case it slipped out in there.  I called Legolas because I'd gone to his house after the interview, but he couldn't find it either.  I called the temple and told them I wasn't coming.  I looked everywhere again.  I went through every page of my journal.  I went to the church to see if it has somehow fallen out and someone had found it, but I had no luck there either.  The thing I couldn't understand is how both recommends were gone - how had both the new and the old one fallen out and gotten lost.  It was distressing.  I wasn't looking forward to calling the bishop and telling him I'd need another new recommend because I lost the first one within 24 hours of getting it.

Well, the next day - yesterday - I found it on accident.  It was in my purse.  How had I not thought to check my purse?  I can only say in my head I somehow knew I put it in my journal and so my brain wouldn't even entertain ideas of looking in other places. 

Story 2:
Yesterday I went with some friends to a Mike Birbliglia show.  (The comedian, not the singer.  That's Michael Buble.)  It was down town.  I work downtown, so naturally I knew where we were going.  But when we got there, I was like - wait, that's the Ohio Theatre there, not the Capitol Theatre.  I still thought I knew where we were going and I directed us to walk around the block, but that was the Palace Theatre.  Now, I was throroghly confused.  Luckily, Legolas knew what was going on and directed us aright.  He got us to the Capitol Theatre, which just happens to be in the same building as my office.  How did I miss that?  I go to that building five days a week and I've seen the signs for the Capitol Theatre probably every day I've been there, yet something just didn't connect.

Side Note:
Today at work, I noticed three bottles of half empty (half full?) bottles of diet coke in the refrigerator and I'm about 80% sure they're all mine.  Just not quite sure enough to throw them away.  

happy birthday to me!

The city of Columbus gave me the most wonderful birthday present today: finished construction on 315! It only took me ten minutes to drive into work today. Huzzah! No wonder they were over schedule - they were saving it as a present to me.  Well, thanks, Columbus.  It really was wonderful of you!

edo days and nippon nights

I'm back! (You: hooray!) Japan was delightful.  Here's a list of things I learned about Japan while I was there:

1. They drive on the left side of the road in Japan.  Yet we still saw a few cars with the driver on the left instead of the right.
2. For some reason, there aren't very many trash cans around.  How did they keep that place so clean with no trashcans?
3. It is very English friendly there. All the road signs and subway stops and everything are in English as well and Japanese.  In addition, if you are white and looking lost, people will stop and ask if you need help.
4. There is no diet coke in Japan, only coke zero.
5. Traditional Japanese pillows are filled with beans or something, not feathers.
6. There are no beggars. This is the first trip I've ever been on where I haven't been panhandled.  Tokyo is a big city and we saw a few people who looked homeless, yet not even one person asked me for money.
7. People don't make eye contact and smile at each other.  It was my personal goal to get as many people to smile at me as possible.
8. They really do make the most delicious sushi you've ever dreamed of.
9. At every restaurant, they give you either a warm towel or a wet wipe to wash your hands before you eat.
10. They love love love McDonalds over there.
11. The bullet trains are smooth enough that you can write in your journal with your left hand and still have it be neat.
12. They love ticket machines and having things automated.  We stayed one night at the temple and we had to buy a ticket from a machine outside the office.  At one restaurant we ate at, we bought tickets for the food we wanted before going in.
13. Despite what people told us, Japan was no more expensive than the United States. It was pretty much the same.
14. Whenever you buy anything at a souvineer shop, they wrap it up in nice paper.  You could go straight from a souvineer shop to a birthday party if you already had a card.
15.  It really is a lovely place to travel to, and if you get a chance, you should go. 

(ps. thanks for the title of this post, Raskolnikov.)